When The Seasons End
by xxpapercutxx
Summary: Death is the end of life for a person, but for the people who live on after they die. When does their grief end? Could they end with the seasons? Slowly but surely accepting what has come to be, learning to live again after a death. Naruto centric.
1. When Autumn Ends

AN: Yes, I know I have a bunch of stories going, but I can't stop ideas from running through my head. I was bored and thinking about a story I had read in English class and this idea came to me. I hope you all like it.

**Warning: Post character death and shonen-ai.**

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

Beta-ed by **Red Deep** whose stories rock! You should go read them!

**When Autumn Ends**

The glass was caked with condensation from the cold weather outside, making it near impossible to see through to the other side. The sun was rising majestically casting beautiful golden hues across the landscape blending beautifully with the fallen leaves that smothered the ground. It didn't matter though, for the boy sitting there with his eyes staring directly at the window didn't see a thing. Tears were spilling from his bright blue eyes as he remembered how his life used to be, when his lover was still alive. For two long years they had been madly in love not caring about anything but the other. If they had known their relationship would have ended so quickly things might have been different, but would they have gained the memories they had?

Slowly the tan hand of the boy reached up and began writing on the glass the name of the one filling his thoughts. Each stroke of his finger was slow as he tried to steady his trembling hand. Life had so cruelly taken away the one he loved but he'd never forget what they had had. He'd never forget… Sasuke.

With a shiver he stood, no longer being able to sit still after being in mourning for so long. His lover's death had been a year ago and still he was in so much pain. He wanted to move on now though, and accept that Sasuke was gone. It hurt to have to realize this, but it also was too painful to try and forget what they had when they were together.

Sasuke had been his everything, his best friend, his lover, and his life. His life had been taken away from him. Sasuke had been taken away. Naruto had never realized how quick death was until he had seen Sasuke be hit by that car.

-

_It was horrible. Blood was everywhere and Sasuke lied there barely hanging onto life as the paramedics and police were on their way. He was over whelmed with pain but let Naruto cling to him as he quickly faded. Those coal colored eyes had seemed so much more worried and saddened than Naruto's own as Sasuke whispered his last words._

"_I'm… sorry."_

-

He was apologizing for dieing. Even as his life ended he still cared about Naruto more than himself. Hearing those words made Naruto feel guilty, even though he shouldn't have. He still blamed himself for Sasuke's death. If he had been more observant and careful it might have never happened, but he hadn't been and Sasuke was still dead. He knew it was a waste of time dwelling on the past and thinking of how it could have been, but he couldn't help it. He wanted what had happened to change so badly. He wanted his lover back. He wanted Sasuke back.

Grabbing a thick jacket he slid himself into it before walking out the door of the home Sasuke and him used to share. Every thing in that house reeked of Sasuke and reminded him constantly of how he was gone. The place he used to love being because it was always filled with Sasuke now tormented him and made him never want to go home. But that place was no longer his home; his home had been wherever Sasuke was. Now that Sasuke was gone, Naruto had no home.

The weather outside was cold and crisp as the frigid wind bit into his soft flesh as it rushed past. The multi-colored leaves crunched noisily beneath his feet breaking the stillness and silence of the forest around him. The town was only a mile away from where he was, but now in the ending of autumn he couldn't even hear the cars or people from the city as all were asleep still. Not many were awake at three in the morning, but Naruto could hardly ever sleep. His dreams were always filled with Sasuke.

He didn't know which dreams were worse though, the ones of the car crash or the ones of when him and Sasuke were together and being happy. Both hurt so much for when he woke up Sasuke was still dead and nothing had changed.

With a long sigh he gazed up into the trees looking at their bare branches and seeing past them to the clouds that hung solemnly in the gray sky. Tears were still dripping down from his blue eyes as he longed for something to take away his pain.

He had denied Sasuke's death for so long, but now he could no longer forget that he was gone. He was also so sick of the constant sadness and crying that now seemed to take up his whole life. With a few more seconds taken up by him staring at the sky he whispered out a few words before closing his eyes and opening them with a renewed look on his face. Sadness was still in his eyes but the same wornness and tired look was gone. The words he had said still ringing hopefully in his head.

"When Autumn ends I want to be a little closer to accepting your death… Sasuke…"

_**To be continued…or not?**_

**Please review! And tell me if I should continue or not. **


	2. When Winter Ends

This one is depression so yes very angsty I think. Still I hope you all enjoy it!

Warning: Shonen-ai

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**When Winter Ends**

White snowflakes fell gently from the grey sky landing softly on the already white ground. Naruto stood in the doorway staring out at the peaceful scene. A cup of hot chocolate was gripped tightly in his hand, so tightly that his knuckles were white. His normally tan complexion was pale and sickly looking. His bright expressive eyes were saddened and dull. A shaky breath spilled through his tightly pressed lips, he was barely holding on.

The sadness was so overwhelming. He felt so empty and lonely. The feeling consumed him as if he was falling into himself. His words were hollow and seemed to echo off the walls of the as he turned to look at the home he and Sasuke used to live in.

"This was…ours…"

Slowly the sad and lonely feeling welled up inside him and soon his eyes were leaking hot tears. His body began to shake and his grip on the cup loosened causing it to fall to the floor. The porcelain mug split into large sharp shards and the hot liquid splashed across the floor seeping into the cold wooden floor. In the back of his mind the thought of it staining the floor came to mind and he could hear Sasuke's voice talking to him.

_Dobe, you better clean that up before it stains the floor. _

The shaking got even worse as he knelt down carefully picking up the broken pieces and setting them on the palm of his empty hand. He finished picking them up and walked into his house not bothering to close the door and let the pieces fall into the trash bin. Only then did he notice the small cut adorning his skin. Crimson blood seeped slowly from the small wound and he watched it in morbid fascination as he went over to the sink and turned the cold water on letting it run over the cut.

His body was so numb from loneliness and sadness that he couldn't even feel the stinging pain he should have felt. He stood with the cold water running for minutes on end before it finally dawned on him that he should turn the water off. It was like he was living in a daze or a dream that had no end.

"Why…" His voice was shaky and weak. The sound of this voice coming from his lips sounded foreign even to himself. He had changed so much, and missed who he had been. He wanted Sasuke back. He wanted his life back.

He bandaged his hand in a practiced manner, but mechanical at the same time. It was as if he was on autopilot and Naruto was really lying dormant inside. The emptiness was infinite and nothing could ever fill it, he hated feeling like this. It hurt, so much more than he wanted it to. Love hurt, it hurt so much.

"Y-you said…you'd never hurt me…" Naruto mumbled with his frozen fingers lightly touching his lips to see if they could feel the warmth of his breath. Again he could hear Sasuke's voice talking to him.

_I know I promised that, but you always hurt the ones you love the most._

"I hate you!" Naruto yelled with raged breathing. Each breath became shorter and faster as tears began to well up in his eyes again. "I hate you!" With that the hot tears spilled down his face as the panic feeling increased. He was scared. Scared to be alone again. With his body shaking from the force of his sobs he fell limply to the floor staring at the worn wooden floor. It reminded him of Sasuke, everything reminded him of Sasuke though. The rain, the snow, the clouds, the floor, the table, the chair, his own eyes, everything, it all reminded him of Sasuke. It was almost enough to drive him insane. In fact it might have already pushed him over the edge.

He hardly had a grip on reality anymore. For Naruto it was like living a nightmare and he somehow thought that at any moment he'd wake up and it would all just be a horrible dream. He didn't want to be sad anymore. Sasuke's death had hurt him so much though.

Weakly standing he managed to walk into the bedroom of the small house. He opened Sasuke's dresser and took out a blue shirt of his. Naruto then collapsed on the bed pulling the shirt close breathing in Sasuke's scent. Even after the two years since his death, Naruto could still smell the boy on the things he had left behind.

Tears still flowed from his blue eyes but he dared not to wipe them with the shirt. He couldn't taint anything thing of Sasuke's. They were all that was left of the dead boy.

Choking back on his sobs he finally was able to speak and hoped Sasuke could hear him.

"I love you…"

Naruto, still crying, hugged the shirt even tighter as he tried to relax and have his mind stolen by sleep. Crying himself to sleep, he had one thought running through his head.

_I want these endless tears I cry for him to end at the same time the snow melts and winter ends, turning into spring._

**_To be continued..._**

**Please Review!**


	3. When Spring Ends

Here is the next season! I hope you all enjoy it. This time you shall see Naruto's anger.

**Warning: Shonen-ai, and Naruto is angry. **

Beta-ed by **Sasuke2006** who's stories I love to death! So go read them after you read (and hopefully review) this!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

**When Spring Ends**

Flowers blossomed beautifully in the large area in front of the small house. Clouds hung in the clear blue sky as birds and other animals basked in the sun shining down. Blue eyes watched forlornly at the life that was being expressed in everything. He wished he could be like the flowers, the sun, the trees, and the wind, anything that thrived in the spring. He hated how he was now, always being sad and missing Sasuke.

"It is all your fault," Naruto muttered glaring at the picturesque scene that was in front of his house. "It's all your fault!"

Everything. He hated everything.

He was mad. Mad at Sasuke for all that had happened. The memories of them happy and the memories of his death, made him so angry. Sasuke just selfishly died leaving him behind to have to deal with all the pain. But where was Sasuke? Nowhere. He didn't have to feel the pain. He didn't have to suffer. It was so infuriating thinking about it.

It was all Sasuke's fault that he was like this. Sasuke was to blame. He glared at the photo of Sasuke that sat on the coffee table in the living room. The picture was of a nineteen-year-old Sasuke smiling slightly at the camera despite the rain that was cascading down on him. Droplets of water fell from his face and his hair stuck to his head. Mud was on his clothes, but he was able to smile in the situation because Naruto had been taking the picture and remarked how Sasuke looked like he had when they had been twelve and gotten in a fight in the rain. It had been the same day that they had first kissed…

-

_"Sasuke-teme! You got me in trouble with Iruka-sensei!" Naruto yelled angrily ignoring the rain falling on him._

_"Tch, Dobe it's not my fault you yelled out in class," Sasuke replied coldly keeping his umbrella above him blocking the rain. Naruto growled and lunged for the raven-haired boy. The sudden attack caught Sasuke of guard and he let go of the umbrella and moved to defend himself, but the slick ground caused Naruto to slip and crash into Sasuke. They fell to the ground as murky water splashed around them from the impact. _

_Naruto's head was on Sasuke's chest and he moved to sit up. Sasuke groaned as he managed to lift himself up. He held the side of his head as if in pain and Naruto immediately felt guilty._

_"Sorry," Naruto said reaching a hand out quickly and putting over Sasuke's trying to move it away._

_"It's fine dobe," Sasuke growled out glaring at the blonde._

"_No! It's not! I hurt everyone!" Naruto yelled pulling the hand away to see blood trickling slowly from the back of Sasuke's head. He gasped and let his hand fall limply to the ground. "I'm sorry…"_

"_I'll be fine, just get off of me," Sasuke said pushing the blonde off him only causing Naruto to fall backwards onto the ground. Sasuke watched as Naruto lay on the ground letting the icy rain pelt down on his skin. The rain falling on him stung his body, so he knew that Naruto's face was most likely burning with pain. "Dobe get up."_

"_No…there's no point…" He began lifting an arm up to his face to cover his eyes. "I have no friends and I'm an orphan…I have no one…"_

"_You're a liar," Sasuke said angrily pulling Naruto's arm off his face as he hovered over the blonde. The anger vanished though when he saw the tears falling from the blue eyes. It was hard to tell from far away but up close he could differentiate the tears from the rain. "You lie everyday."_

"_What do you mean?" Naruto asked weakly._

"_You act so happy and laugh all the time," Sasuke said looking down causing his hair to fall in his face. "It's so stupid to hide like that and lie to yourself and everyone else. Just be yourself…"_

"_Why do you care?" Naruto yelled sitting up quickly pushing Sasuke back but their bodies were pressed against each other's. His eyes held fury as well as pain. Sasuke glared and wrapped his arms around the boy in front of him._

"_Because you are my friend!" Sasuke admitted. "You're the only one who doesn't treat me like a god."_

"_Wha-" Naruto began getting cut off by a pair of chapped lips. It lasted only an instant but the warmth and comforting feeling Naruto got from the kiss relaxed him. "Why?" He had to ask though._

"_Actions speak louder than words. With you I'd have to show I cared and not just say it," Sasuke said smirking._

"_What are you trying to say?" Naruto said squinting his eyes in suspicion._

"_That you're stupid dobe," Sasuke said smirking even wider as he watched the blonde's cheeks puff out in anger._

"_Don't call me that Sasuke-teme!" Naruto yelled pushing Sasuke back down into the murky water covering both boys in mud once again._

-

The kiss had been from affection, as a show of friendship. They didn't fall in love until a couple years later. They had been content with friendship. But now Naruto wished he had never been close to Sasuke.

It was all Sasuke's fault. It was Sasuke's fault that he fell in love with him. If Sasuke hadn't been his friend, he would never have had to feel this pain and aching sadness.

He hated Sasuke for this. He hated him and was angry. So angry about being left alone.

"You left me!" Naruto yelled picking up the picture and yelling at it. "I'm all alone now! You died and left me! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!" Naruto kept chanting those three words over and over again until the fatigue of not sleeping and not eating caught up to him an hour later as he choked with a raspy voice on 'hate' and stopped talking, rubbing at his aching throat. He then set the picture back on the table and walked slowly back to the window, anger still radiating from him as he stared at the setting sun glowing orange in the scene before him. It was so beautiful, but he could only hate it for being just that.

He hoped he wouldn't be mad forever at Sasuke though.

_I love you Sasuke…don't make me hate you. Let me forgive you when spring fades away._

**_To be continued…_**

**Please Review!**


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